Why Parent Peacefully?

Research has shown that positive parenting is the single most important element in building a strong foundation for a child's development.  Positive parenting emphasizes supportive and caring relationships between parents and their children.

Parents who adopt this approach are looking for ways to make the childhood experience an exceptionally enjoyable and supportive one while finding situations to instruct rather than just discipline whenever possible.

Some key aspects of peaceful parenting include:

  • Having realistic expectations
  • Encouraging positive behavior
  • Creating a safe and engaging environment for our children
  • Gentle Discipline
  • Creating a positive learning environment
  • Playful parenting

There is a school of thought that if you're not firm with children they won't learn right from wrong because they won't take you seriously when you seek to correct them.  Peaceful parenting incorporates firmness but with a loving, gentle, approach.  When instructions are given motivate your child to comply with love.  It sounds simple, but consciously think about the request and ensure the language and emotion you demonstrate is coming from a place of love.  Then if the child does not comply be firm in your response.  That is consistency and that is managing your child's expectations in a way that is loving and intelligent.

For example if your child was suppose to stop playing a game at a certain time and they refuse to honor that time restriction, it would be wise to turn off the game or remove the item that the child is playing with.  That would be a firm response.  Be punctual. Do what you say you're going to do but ensure that it is positive behavior that at all times creates a sense of safety and love for your child.

It's no surprise that positive parenting means never telling a child he is bad.  That's hardly positive and can damage a child's self esteem. Motivate your child to behave in a positive way by stressing that your love for her is unconditional no matter what she does.  Motivate through love not fear.

Adults and children tend to crave attention.  The same is true for your child.  Your positive attention and reinforcement helps to build self esteem in your child.  In your child's life your attention can mean the most. So when your child can't seem to get enough of your time, think about the quality of time you are giving him.  Children know when your attention is sincere.  Some specialists believe children tend to misbehave when they aren't receiving the full attention of parents.

Empower your children by acknowledging their abilities to assume responsibilities and make  decisions.  Small children can help clear the table and older children can fold clothing and give you advice on recipes.

Try not to step in to do activities that your children can do for themselves and complete with pride of accomplishment.  It may be more work for you in the long run but it will help your child to feel valued and respected by the members of his family.

Help your kids to learn how to make good decisions and choose appropriate behaviors through the experience of consequences.  If you have to remind your child each day to pick their lunch up before going to school, don't remind them one day.  The experience and inconvenience of having to arrange to get a lunch will be a lesson that your child won't soon forget. The discomfort of eating lunch late or involving the school in contacting you can be a far more effective teaching moment than repeated morning reprimands as your child leaves for school in the morning.

Peaceful parenting isn't always easy but it is so rewarding to know you are raising children who will feel loved and respected and will have the confidence and self-esteem to be responsible, caring family and community members.

Hot Resource: Playful Parenting

Tag, you're it! In Playful Parenting, Lawrence Cohen demonstrates that parents need to lighten up and spend a few hours giggling with their kids. Play is inherently educational for children, he claims, and parents can learn plenty by examining the games kids play--from peekaboo to practical jokes.


Hot Resource: Parenting With Love & Logic

In the context of a healthy, loving relationship, "Love and Logic" parents teach their children responsibility and the logic of life by solving their own problems, providing skills for coping in the real world. After laying out the principles of "Love and Logic," the authors provide "parenting pearls," which are strategies for applying the method to everyday situations.



A Great Resource for Peaceful & Positive Parents Who Are Struggling:

Total Transformation

Gentle Discipline:

One of the key components of parenting peacefully is the objective to build a deep attachment between parent and child with an atmosphere of love and uncompromising trust. Most will agree in any situation that creating an atmosphere of trust would not involve hitting or physical coercion. This applies to the parent/child relationship as well, if not more so. A parent that seeks a loving attachment to his or her child should always seek to parent peacefully and consensually.


NEW Article!! Time in To Chill Out

NEW Article!! An Interview with Jane Nelsen of Positive Parenting

NEW Article!! 7 Alternatives to Spanking and Harsh Discipline

Parent Consciously:

Practice, practice, practice. Have you had a day when you settled down into your bed at night totally happy with how you related your kids? What made that day different? Did you spend a lot of time outside? Had you had a good nights' sleep? Did you get some physical exercise? Did you leave the room and give yourself a time out? Did you give yourself a break to just relax? Did you count to ten or pray for wisdom?  Take note of what you did. Practicing that behavior again and again makes it your habit, and it will serve you well the next time you're in the situation.


Spanking Doesn't Work:

Spanking teaches children that violence is the solution when we have a problem. It teaches that we can acceptably use physical coercion to get what we want. Not only does spanking teach things that are contrary to what we actually want it can erode the trust between parent and child as well.

In actuality when we talk about discipline we are talking about behavior that we would like to amend in our children.  What better way to instruct our children than to model good behavior and behave in a way that is respectful, rational and appropriate.  Hitting or spanking a child is not respectful or even civil.


No Spank Resources:

Never Hit a Child

Project No Spank


Read a review of The No Cry Discipline Solution

Creating a positive learning environment

The public school system is many times criticized for its failure to contemplate the individual and distinct needs and learning styles of each child. In classrooms with 20 or more students it is not viable for children to get the one on one attention they may need and it is easy for a child to be labeled as "slow" or learning disabled because they appear to be behind their peers academically. The flaw with this thinking is that it does not consider the very real possibility that they are merely learning and working at their own natural pace and development. When one standard of excellence is forced upon all kids then inevitably some children will fall through the cracks and be made to feel inadequate.

Homeschooling can be incredibly invigorating for you and for your child when they are allowed to grow and discover on their own terms and at their own natural pace.  The one on one time you spend with your child may be just what he or she needs more than anything else.


Consensual Living:

Consensual Living is based on the idea that individuals in a family can exist in a way that avoids conflict through fair and democratic recognition of each others needs and effective communication.

Consensual Living is sometimes considered a parenting philosophy, where children are considered to have an equal say in family decisions and resolutions.


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Resources for Parents:

Natural Family Living Blog: Natural and peaceful parenting advice, homeschool tips and ideas, holistic health information, and green family values galore. Click here to read the blog.

The Attached Parent: Attached living, gentle discipline, and consensual living information and advice. Click here to read the blog.

Natural Family Recipes: Healthy, whole foods recipes the whole family will enjoy. Click here visit.

Attachment Parenting International: An organization dedicated to promotion and education of attachment style parenting. Join Here.

Holistic Moms Network: HMN members share a common bond: a desire to be the best parents possible by providing our children with a physical, psychological, and spiritual environment that will nourish them and allow them to reach their greatest potential. Visit Here.

Peaceful; Pregnancy and Childbirth:

Giving birth to a child is one of the most memorable and meaningful experiences in a woman's life. One of the important decisions a woman will make about the experience is whether to deliver her child the natural way or with medication.  Sometimes a choice isn't possible as nature and circumstances have a way making the decision for us.  But for women trying to plan ahead for a natural childbirth, understanding the benefits of this choice can be helpful.


Positive Self Esteem:

Self-esteem is vital throughout life, but it is in childhood when the foundation is laid.  It's our job as parents to help our children build a positive self image.  We may do and say things that are bad for our children's self-worth without even realizing it, so it is important to make a cognizant effort to help them develop and sustain a positive opinion about themselves.


Raising Kids Who Care:

About themselves, the world around them, and each other...



More Peaceful Parenting Resources:

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