Why
Parent Peacefully?
Research has
shown that positive parenting is the single most important element in building a
strong foundation for a child’s development. Positive parenting emphasizes
supportive and caring relationships between parents and their children.
Parents who
adopt this approach are looking for ways to make the childhood experience an
exceptionally enjoyable and supportive one while finding situations to instruct
rather than just discipline whenever possible.
Some key
aspects of peaceful parenting include:
- Having
realistic expectations
-
Encouraging positive behavior
- Creating
a safe and engaging environment for our children
- Gentle
Discipline
- Creating
a positive learning environment
- Playful
parenting
There is a
school of thought that if you’re not firm with children they won’t learn right
from wrong because they won’t take you seriously when you seek to correct them.
Peaceful parenting incorporates firmness but with a loving, gentle, approach.
When instructions are given motivate your child to comply with love. It sounds
simple, but consciously think about the request and ensure the language and
emotion you demonstrate is coming from a place of love. Then if the child does
not comply be firm in your response. That is consistency and that is managing
your child’s expectations in a way that is loving and intelligent.
For example
if your child was suppose to stop playing a game at a certain time and they
refuse to honor that time restriction, it would be wise to turn off the game or
remove the item that the child is playing with. That would be a firm response.
Be punctual. Do what you say you’re going to do but ensure that it is positive
behavior that at all times creates a sense of safety and love for your child.
It’s no
surprise that positive parenting means never telling a child he is bad. That’s
hardly positive and can damage a child’s self esteem. Motivate your child to
behave in a positive way by stressing that your love for her is unconditional—no
matter what she does. Motivate through love not fear.
Adults and
children tend to crave attention. The same is true for your child. Your
positive attention and reinforcement helps to build self esteem in your child.
In your child’s life your attention can mean the most. So when your child can’t
seem to get enough of your time, think about the quality of time you are giving
him. Children know when your attention is sincere. Some specialists believe
children tend to misbehave when they aren’t receiving the full attention of
parents.
Empower your
children by acknowledging their abilities to assume responsibilities and make
decisions. Small children can help clear the table and older children can fold
clothing and give you advice on recipes.
Try not to
step in to do activities that your children can do for themselves and complete
with pride of accomplishment. It may be more work for you in the long run but
it will help your child to feel valued and respected by the members of his
family.
Help your
kids to learn how to make good decisions and choose appropriate behaviors
through the experience of consequences. If you have to remind your child each
day to pick their lunch up before going to school, don’t remind them one day.
The experience and inconvenience of having to arrange to get a lunch will be a
lesson that your child won’t soon forget. The discomfort of eating lunch late or
involving the school in contacting you can be a far more effective teaching
moment than repeated morning reprimands as your child leaves for school in the
morning.
Peaceful
parenting isn’t always easy but it is so rewarding to know you are raising
children who will feel loved and respected and will have the confidence and
self-esteem to be responsible, caring family and community members.
Hot Resource:
Playful Parenting
Tag, you're it! In Playful
Parenting, Lawrence Cohen demonstrates that parents need to lighten up and spend
a few hours giggling with their kids. Play is inherently educational for
children, he claims, and parents can learn plenty by examining the games kids
play--from peekaboo to practical jokes.
Hot Resource:
Parenting With Love
& Logic
In the context of a healthy,
loving relationship, "Love and Logic" parents teach their children
responsibility and the logic of life by solving their own problems, providing
skills for coping in the real world. After laying out the principles of "Love
and Logic," the authors provide "parenting pearls," which are strategies for
applying the method to everyday situations.
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The Ultimate Resource
for Peaceful & Positive Parents:
COMING SOON!
Gentle Discipline:
One of the key components of
parenting peacefully is the objective to build a deep attachment between parent
and child with an atmosphere of love and uncompromising trust. Most will agree
in any situation that creating an atmosphere of trust would not involve hitting
or physical coercion. This applies to the parent/child relationship as well, if
not more so. A parent that seeks a loving attachment to his or her child should
always seek to parent peacefully and consensually.
Read more...
NEW Article!!
7 Alternatives to Spanking and Harsh
Discipline
Parent Consciously:
Practice, practice, practice.
Have you had a day when you settled down into your bed at night totally happy
with how you related your kids? What made that day different? Did you spend a
lot of time outside? Had you had a good nights’ sleep? Did you get some physical
exercise? Did you leave the room and give yourself a time out? Did you give
yourself a break to just relax? Did you count to ten or pray for wisdom? Take
note of what you did. Practicing that behavior again and again makes it your
habit, and it will serve you well the next time you’re in the situation.
Read more...
Spanking Doesn't Work:
Spanking teaches children
that violence is the
solution when we have a
problem. It teaches that we
can acceptably use physical
coercion to get what we
want. Not only does spanking
teach things that are
contrary to what we actually
want it can erode the trust
between parent and child as
well.
In actuality when we talk
about discipline we are
talking about behavior that
we would like to amend in
our children. What better
way to instruct our children
than to model good behavior
and behave in a way that is
respectful, rational and
appropriate. Hitting or
spanking a child is not
respectful or even civil.
Read more...
No Spank Resources:
Never Hit a Child
Project No Spank
Read a review of The No Cry Discipline Solution
Creating
a positive learning environment
The public school system is
many times criticized for its failure to contemplate the individual and distinct
needs and learning styles of each child. In classrooms with 20 or more students
it is not viable for children to get the one on one attention they may need and
it is easy for a child to be labeled as “slow” or learning disabled because they
appear to be behind their peers academically. The flaw with this thinking is
that it does not consider the very real possibility that they are merely
learning and working at their own natural pace and development. When one
standard of excellence is forced upon all kids then inevitably some children
will fall through the cracks and be made to feel inadequate.
Homeschooling can
be incredibly invigorating for you and for your child when they are allowed to
grow and discover on their own terms and at their own natural pace. The one on
one time you spend with your child may be just what he or she needs more than
anything else.
Consensual Living:
Consensual Living is
based on the idea that
individuals in a family
can exist in a way that
avoids conflict through
fair and democratic
recognition of each
others needs and
effective communication.
Consensual Living is
sometimes considered a
parenting
philosophy, where
children are considered
to have an equal say in
family decisions and
resolutions.
TV Free Family
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Resources for Parents:
Natural Family
Living Blog:
Natural and peaceful parenting advice, homeschool tips and ideas, holistic
health information, and green family values galore.
Click here to read the blog.
The Attached
Parent:
Attached living, gentle discipline, and consensual living information and
advice. Click here to read the blog.
MrDad.com:
Positive Parenting Radio Show. Host Armin Brott interviews expert guests
about important and timely topics of interest to parents and families.
Listen In!
Natural Moms Talk Radio:
An Internet radio show for natural and instinctive moms.
Listen In!
Natural
Family Recipes:
Healthy, whole foods recipes
the whole family will enjoy. Click here
visit.
Attachment Parenting International (API):
An organization dedicated to promotion and education of attachment style
parenting. Join
Here.
Holistic Moms Network: HMN
members share a common bond: a desire to be the best parents possible by
providing our children with a physical, psychological, and spiritual environment
that will nourish them and allow them to reach their greatest potential.
Visit Here.
Peaceful; Pregnancy and Childbirth:
Giving birth to a
child is one of the most memorable and meaningful experiences in a woman’s life.
One of the important decisions a woman will make about the experience is whether
to deliver her child the natural way or with medication. Sometimes a choice
isn’t possible as nature and circumstances have a way making the decision for
us. But for women trying to plan ahead for a
natural childbirth, understanding the benefits of this choice can be
helpful.
Positive Self Esteem:
Self-esteem is
vital throughout life, but it is in childhood when the foundation is laid. It’s
our job as parents to help our children build a positive self image. We may do
and say things that are bad for our children's self-worth without even realizing
it, so it is important to make a cognizant effort to help them develop and
sustain a positive opinion about themselves.
Raising Kids Who Care:
About themselves,
the world around them, and each other...
More Peaceful Parenting
Resources:
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